Out of Nowhere Read online

  Grabbing my room key, my aviators, and my bag, I head to the fairground for another beer-filled adventure at the Oktoberfest. Ten hours later, I’m all beer and pretzeled out. It’s closing time and I may be a little tipsy, and by a little, I mean a lot. My new friends Kenzie and Jordan are escorting me back to my hotel, which so happens to be where they are also staying. They are from Australia and are traveling Europe with their children. Jordan is some Aussie craft beer bigwig and they come to the fest every few years. It was actually here at the fest that he decided to open his brewery. They are both pretty awesome and I’m glad I bumped into Kenzie in the restroom. Funny story, Kenzie found me in the corner crying, I became overwhelmed when someone asked me if I wanted a pretzel, a damn pretzel. She wrapped me in a hug and took me under her wing. She’s pretty awesome and I’m glad to have met her…she actually reminds me of Bella.

  The next morning, I wake and wait for the hangover from hell to hit, but surprisingly I feel pretty good. Apart from a queasy tummy, I’m okay; I love German beer. Since I feel pretty good, I decide to sightsee today. I’m walking through the foyer when I bump into Kenzie, Jordan, and their two little girls. “Morning, guys.”

  “Wow, you’re up. I thought you’d sleep the day away,” Kenzie says, as she hugs me lightly.

  “I know, right? I thought for sure I’d be dying a slow and painful death today.”

  “German beer is awesome,” Jordan says. “They don’t use any preservatives—hence—no hangover.”

  “Well, I think I’m now a German beer convert,” I say with a big smile.

  “If you think this is great, you should come down under and try mine. I like to think I give the Germans a run for their money, but I’m man enough to admit that they are goodly beer makers.”

  Scrunching my eyebrows, I look at him inquisitively. “Umm, you do know that goodly doesn’t mean good, right? It means of large size.”

  Both Kenzie and Jordan laugh. “We know,” they say in unison.

  “My dear wife here has a language all of her own, and after hanging around her for over ten years now, I’ve caught her ‘Kenzie-isms.’” He stares at Kenzie as he says this, his eyes full of love for his wife, and a pang of sadness hits because Brian used to look at me like that. Discreetly, I wipe my eye, but the eagle-eyed Kenzie notices.

  “You okay, Emerson?”

  “I’m fine. I’ve haven’t seen a couple so in love like you guys are in a while, and it makes me miss my fiancé. The look Jordan just gave you reminded me of how Brian used to look at me.”

  “Jordan is the yin to my yang. Our path here wasn’t easy, but he’s now stuck with me forever.” She winks and blows him a kiss before adding, “You never mentioned how you lost, Brian, I think you said his name was?”

  I wasn’t expecting the question and the wind is knocked out of me. Pursing my lips, I take a deep breath. “He and everyone I held dear to me were shot by a man in Central Park, in November last year.” A lone tear falls down my cheek. “Brian died saving me.”

  “Oh my God! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Kenzie says, as she envelops me up in a hug, again reminding me of Bella.

  Wrapping my arms around her, I hug her back. There’s something about this hug that makes me realize I will be okay. “It’s okay. I’m getting better at telling people. At least now I don’t crumble into a million pieces. To be honest, it’s nice that you aren’t treating me like a piece of glass. Everyone back home was tiptoeing around me. Treating me like a delicate flower. I wasn’t delicate before it happened. I was strong. Confident. Yeah, sure, I crumbled and was lost, but who wouldn’t be after losing everyone they love? I just want to be treated like the me from before. Do you know what I mean?” Looking up, I see understanding written all over Kenzie’s face as she nods her head in agreement.

  “I know exactly what you mean, Emerson. Before I had the girls…” She looks around to make sure they aren’t looking at her, she whispers, “I was kidnapped and attacked.” Reaching out, she squeezes Jordan’s hand. “People treated me the same way and I hated it. I too pushed everyone away. Well, almost everyone.” She nods toward Jordan. “I made a vow to never make anyone feel like that. We are survivors. We are strong. Sure, we may have been knocked down, but people are much stronger than they know. Sometimes it takes a fucked-up situation to make you tougher.”

  “Bad word, Mummy,” one of the little girls says in the cutest little Aussie accented voice I have ever heard.

  Kenzie crouches down. “I’m sorry, baby girl. I did say a bad word. I’ll pop a coin in the jar when we get back from the zoo. Okay?” The little girl nods her head and looks up at me with a super big smile on her face.

  “Hello there. What’s your name?” I say as I crouch down to her height.

  “I’m Indie.”

  Her sister pushes her to the side. “I’m Rory.”

  “Nice to meet you both. I love your dresses.”

  “Thank you,” they say in unison, each doing a little spin.

  “Well, I better let you all get to the zoo. That sounds like a fun day. I hope you get to see monkeys, monkeys are my favorite zoo animal.”

  “I like lephants,” Indie, I think, says.

  “I like ranga-roo’s,” Rory, I think, says.

  I’d be no good with twins, I can’t tell these two lil’ munchkins apart, I think to myself as the girls start making animal noises. “Well, sounds like you will have an awesome day. Have fun, guys,” I say and stand back up and glance toward Kenzie again. “Enjoy your day at the zoo. I was going to sightsee, but now I’m thinking a lazy day by the pool is in order.”

  “Enjoy your day, Emerson,” Jordan says. “Let’s go, munchkins.” He takes each of their hands and heads toward the exit as the girls squeal with excitement. Kenzie hangs back. “Are you sure you’re okay? I didn’t mean to upset you when I asked.”

  Shaking my head, I reply, “No, I’m okay, really. For the first time when telling someone what happened, it didn’t shred me to pieces. As you said, I’m stronger than I think. I know it will get easier with time and today proved that.” The girls laughing grabs my attention and I find myself smiling. “You better go before they start getting antsy.”

  Kenzie envelopes me in another one of her hugs and whispers, “You will survive this, Emerson. Don’t let the man get you down.” She kisses me on the cheek and then skips over to her kids and Jordan. I stand there and watch them head outside and into the waiting cab to take them to the zoo.

  Kenzie’s words play over in my head and I know she it right. “I will survive,” I mumble to myself, as I turn around and head back to my room to get changed for a day chilling by the pool…but no beer or pretzels today. As the lift takes me up to my floor, I realize that even though I’m alone, I will be fine. After all, as Dave would say, ‘You are Emerson James.’

  CHAPTER NINE

  Emerson

  AFTER THE OKTOBERFEST AND A few days in Munich, I head back to the States for the final leg of my journey, my road trip along Route 66. Flying into Los Angeles, I spend a few days here organizing a car and map out my trip. Deciding to buy a Mustang rather then renting one, I go on the hunt for my dream car. Since I’m not sure of my timeline, I thought it would be easier this way. Plus, I’ve always wanted to own a Mustang, but living in New York City it was pointless having a car.

  Finding the perfect car, I snap it up quickly. I am now the proud owner of a fully restored, Silver Frost ’67 fastback, complete with a kick ass blue tooth stereo and original interior. I really wanted a convertible, but I know that Brian would have loved this car so I gave up my convertible for this bad boy.

  After finalizing my Route 66 road trip, I pack up Molly—my car—and set off on my final adventure. After filling her up with gas, I slip on Brian’s Oakley’s and hit Route 66. Syncing my Spotify road trip playlist to the new stereo, I set off into the sunset singing “Life is a Highway” by Rascal Flatts. I put the pedal to the metal and leave the big city and interstat
e for country towns and single lane roads.

  After a few hours driving, I find a quaint little B&B in the San Bernardino Valley and decide to stay a few days. After settling into my room, I head to my outdoor patio, and with a glass of wine in hand, I decide it’s time to face the music and call Bella. I haven’t spoken to her on the phone since I left. Apart from the occasional e-mail here and there to let her know I was okay, we haven’t actually spoken since I left. I’m not sure how this call will go, but I need to let her know that I’m back stateside.

  Pulling on my big girl panties, I grab my phone and stare at it. Taking a big sip of wine, I empty my glass. Standing up, I duck inside and fill it up again, this time I place the bottle in a wine bucket and bring it with me. Picking up my phone again, I unlock it and bring up my contacts. My finger hovers over her name for a few seconds before I press it. It feels like it takes forever to connect. I start to panic that Bella won’t answer because she won’t know this number, but thankfully she picks up after a few rings. “Hello, this is Bella.” Hearing her voice, I pause, I didn’t realize how much I’d missed her. “Hello, is anyone there?”

  Eventually I find my voice. “Hey, Bels.”

  “Ems?” she questions. “Is that you?”

  I nod my head and then remember I’m on the phone and she can’t see me. “Yeah, it’s me.” I’m met with silence. I pull the phone away from my ear and check it’s still connected. At the same time, we each say one another’s name. This causes us both to laugh, and I jump in before she gets a chance to say anything. “I’m sorry I took off like I did.”

  “Surprisingly, I understand.” Her reply shocks me. I thought she’d be more furious with me, considering her e-mail replies when I first left.

  We both go quiet. “It’s so good to hear your voice,” I quickly say.

  “It’s soooo good to hear yours too. How are you?”

  “I’m getting there. Some days are harder than others, but this trip has really helped me. I’m glad I did it.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. I’ve missed you.”

  Tears well in my eyes. “I’ve missed you too.”

  “When are you coming home?”

  “Ummm, not sure. I’m back in the States, but I still have a few things that I need to tick off my bucket list.”

  “I want to come see you. Even just for a day.”

  “I can’t, not just yet. I know I’m being selfish, Bels, but I need to do this. It was therapeutic and I’m enjoying being on my own.”

  “Fine. But now that you’ve called me, you will call me at least once a week, and if I text you, don’t make me wait, you text back that same day. I was so worried in between your e-mails and you never answered my calls.”

  “Bels, I left my phone with you, how could I answer your call?”

  “That’s beside the point.” She pauses. “I was so worried about you between e-mails. The limited contact is what I’m mostly pissed about.”

  “I know, I know. I win the Oscar for shitty friend. I do love you though, does that count for anything?”

  “I see your jokes are still as corny as ever. And yes, I love you too, but the least you could have done was send me a present or two.” We both laugh because I’m the worst present buyer ever. “Or given a sexy Greek god my name and number.”

  “I see your jokes haven’t improved either. It’s soooooo good to hear your voice, Bels. I didn’t realize how much I missed you until just now.”

  “I know, I missed you too. So, fill me in on all your exotic adventures.” For the next thirty minutes I give her the rundown of my adventures since I ran away. “Sounds like an amazing trip, I wish I could have shared some of it with you.

  “I know, and I’m sorry, but it was just something that I needed to do. When I saw that billboard in Times Square, it sparked something inside me and I just had to do it. Once it was all booked, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I knew then that I would be okay.”

  “I understand, I really do, but I just wish you hadn’t cut me out. The lack of contact was worrying at times. I’m just glad to have you back…ish.”

  “Bella, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” We both laugh. “Chicky babe, we are sisters for life, and you’re stuck with me. You’re the Simon to my Garfunkel.”

  “Umm, no, you’re Simon, I’m Garfunkel.”

  We both laugh. “I have to go, but I promise to call again soon.”

  “You’d better, otherwise I’m hiring a sexy PI to find your stubborn ass.”

  “I promise. Love you, Bels.”

  “Love you too, Ems. Chat soon.”

  Disconnecting the call, I place my phone onto the table next to me and smile. As I top off my wine glass, I sit back and watch the sunset over the mountains.

  This road trip is totally cruisey, pun intended. I stop when I’m tired, or if something intrigues me. I love being on the open road, there’s no better feeling than driving down the highway, doing seventy miles an hour and singing your heart out. I’m on no one’s time but Emerson time and I love it. Things are finally starting to feel like normal again. Maybe, just maybe, I’m ready to go back to the real world and start living live my life again…I know it’s what they’d want me to do.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Emerson

  IT’S BEEN THREE WEEKS ON the road, and three weeks of non stop sightseeing, driving, and singing. I’ve snapped so many photos on this trip. I’m glad everything is digital, but I can’t wait to print some—there is no better feeling than flicking through physical photos—sliding a screen just isn’t the same.

  I’m twenty-eight years old and prior to this adventure, I had never ventured out of the state of New York. Now, I’ve traveled the world and in twenty-one days, I’ve seen more of the U.S. than I have ever before. The small country towns are quaint. Some are scary ghost towns, while others are stuck back in the past, frozen in time for all eternity. The big cities are bright and bustling, and for the first time since leaving New York, I kind of miss the hustle and bustle of it. My plan is to drive along Route 66 until I get to the East Coast, but one day I see a sign on the side of the road and I decide to take a detour.

  Pulling off Route 66, I drive toward Colorado and find myself in a small town called Nels Cove. I’m not sure what caused me to pull off, but I was drawn here, it was as if this town was speaking to me. An invisible force was pulling me in and I had no control to stop it.

  On the outskirts of town there is a stunning lake. As I pass by, I think how nice it would be to lie on the bank with a picnic lunch and watch the world pass by. I can’t wait to explore it, I think to myself as I continue the drive into town.

  A few minutes later, I park my car on Main Street. I climb out and look up and down the street, immediately, I feel at home. Lifting my arms above my head, I stretch out and roll my shoulders. This detour was longer than I usually would drive in a day, but as I glance around the town square I smile and internally high-five myself for coming here.

  Leaning down, I pick my handbag up off the passenger seat and grab my bottle of water. Unscrewing the cap, I take a drink before I lock my car and head off to explore Nels Cove. I don’t get too far before my tummy rumbles, and as fate would have it, I’m outside a diner called Tiff’s. Opening the door, I step inside and a bell rings above my head. Everyone stops, stares, and then goes back to their meal and/or conversation. Small towns, I think to myself as I walk toward the counter.

  “Afternoon, darlin’. Take a seat anywhere and I’ll be with you in a moment,” the waitress says as she walks past me to deliver an arm full of meals. The food smells permeate my nose and I slightly moan in delight.

  “Thanks,” I say, as I head toward the booth in the back corner. Sitting down, I make sure that I’m facing toward the diner, I always sit like this because: A. no one can attack me from behind, you can never be too careful, and B. so I can people watch. I love to watch people, watching is one of my favorite pastimes. While I wait, I glance around the d
iner, watching the people go about their business. It sparks a memory of Brian and me—when we were bored—we’d head to Central Park and people watch. He and I would spend hours watching others and making up stories…good times.

  With a smile on my face and my heart feeling happy at that memory, I pick up the menu and look over it. Everything sounds yummy and I’m not sure what I want.

  A few moments later, the same lady from before walks over to me. “Hey, I’m Tiff,” she says, placing a glass of water down in front of me. “What can I get for ya?”

  “Ummm, it all looks good,” I say, looking up at Tiff. “What do you recommend?” I ask.

  “It’s all good.” She winks at me. “But I recommend the cheeseburger and fries. Followed by one of my famous muffins,” she says with a smile.

  “That sounds great, I’ll take that.”

  “Be back in a jiffy.” She picks up the menu and heads back to the counter. “Cheeseburger up,” she shouts in the little window behind the counter.

  “No need to shout, woman, I ain’t deaf yet, but if you keep shouting like that I will be.”

  With a smile, I laugh to myself, and for the first time in a long time, I feel happy, genuinely happy. It’s as if I’m meant to be here.

  After lunch, I walk around Nels Cove. It’s not a very big town but I love it here. I find myself in the park, across from the town square. Taking a seat on one of the benches, I look around and smile. A feeling of contentment and happiness washes over me, and oddly, I feel like I’m home. I haven’t felt that since I lost everyone. A crazy idea morphs into my mind: I think I want to stay here in Nels Cove. My thoughts are interrupted when an older lady sits next to me. “Beautiful day, isn’t it?”

  Looking at her, I smile, she reminds me of Nana James. “It sure is. You have a beautiful town here.”

  “We sure do. I’ve lived here for eighty-two years and I couldn’t imagine calling any other place home. I’m Mavis White. Lovely to meet you.”