Out of Nowhere Read online

  “It’s a date, Sissy. See you tomorrow. Love your guts.”

  “Love your guts too.”

  Ending the phone call, I smile and look to Brian. He stretches out his hand in my direction and I walk toward him. He grips my hand, and pulls me into a hug. I snuggle into him while he explains our day to me. I’m amazed that in the space of thirty minutes, he has a magical day all planned out to cheer me up. First, he accompanies me into work to collect my things. Of course, Kendra is there, rubbing it in my face that I’ve just been fired. Bitch, I think to myself as I pack up my desk. All things considered, I think I did well not to vagina punch her on my way out. After clearing my desk, I head up to marketing to say goodbye to the guys there. We make plans to meet on Friday at The Five Lounge over on Madison for a night of cocktails, karaoke, and dancing. I really have great ex-work colleagues and friends.

  We drop all my crap back at our loft apartment and before we head back out again, he showers me with love, affection, and an orgasm or two. He makes me forget all about the horrible morning I have just had. After showering and getting dressed—again—Brian and I head out into the city that I love and he bequeaths me with the most magical day of my life. Without even trying, he effectively makes me forget all about being jobless.

  Our first stop on Brian’s ‘Cheer Emerson Up Day’ is Central Park, my most favorite place in the world. We take a horse-drawn carriage ride through the park, just like we did on out first date seven years ago. We snuggle together under a blanket, our fingers entwined, my head resting on his shoulder. The moment is perfect, even with the chill in the mid-November air. As we pass over the bridge, I nuzzle into Brian and think to myself, we will be in for a cold winter this year.

  Looking up at Brian, I say, “Thank you, you always know how to make me feel better.”

  “Ems, I will do everything in my power to make you happy. You make me happy every day, and I’m so glad that we get to spend the next seventy plus years together doing so.” Leaning down, he gently places his lips on mine and we kiss. With this one kiss, all my worries cease to exist, and I feel that everything will be okay; it will all work out. If only I had held on tighter to him in this moment, because less than six hours later, I would be all alone, broken, and nothing would be okay or the same again.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Emerson

  MY FIANCÉ—I LOVE SAYING that—is the most amazing man I have ever met. He managed to turn what started as horrible day around and make me happy again; I shouldn’t be surprised because he would do anything for those that he loves. And I just happen to be the one person that he loves the most on this earth. I’m the luckiest girl in the whole entire world, no, the entire universe.

  Today, he spoiled me rotten and he even manages to surprise me. We are walking toward the carousel and I think we are going to hop on and it will be magical at this time of day. The sun starts to dip, the air becomes chilly and I shiver. Brian pulls me into his side and I snuggle into him. As I burrow into his side I realize that even though today started off shitty, he has made me forget all my worries and has given me the most magical day ever. I’m so lucky to have him in my life, I think to myself. Smiling, I look up toward the carousel and pause mid-step. Both our families are waiting for us. Somehow, he orchestrated a surprise dinner at Tavern on the Green with our families.

  Hugs and kisses are shared, but our happy moment is interrupted by a commotion nearby. A man and a woman are yelling loudly at each other, everyone in the vicinity is watching. The woman turns to walk away, but the man grabs her roughly. He spins her around and gets right up into her face, yelling obscenely at her. He shoves her to the ground before he storms off, once again shouting and screaming.

  Without thinking, I run over and crouch down next to her. The first thing I notice is her black eye. She is visibly shaking. Tears are streaking down her cheeks. “Oh my God, are you okay?” I ask her as I reach out to rub her arm, but she flinches and I stop.

  “Um, yeah, no, I’m fine.” Her voice is full of fear and my heart breaks for her.

  “Are you sure?” I say again. Pulling back as I don’t want to scare her any more than she is, but still close enough to let her know that I’m here.

  “Really, I’m fine. I…I just tripped.” She looks up at me and we both know she is lying, but I can tell that she doesn’t want to talk about it. She stands up and brushes the dirt off her legs.

  “I’m glad you’re okay. I’m Emerson,” I say with a smile and put my hand out.

  She stares at my outstretched hand before she looks into my eyes. We don’t say anything to each other, but I can tell, without a doubt, that she is petrified of her husband and doesn’t know what to do. When she doesn’t take my hand, I lower it and invite her to join me for coffee.

  “Thank you for the offer, but I just want to be on my own.” As she turns to walk away, I reach out and grab her hand. She flinches at my touch, but I gently squeeze. “Okay.” Quickly, I add, “Umm, we will be at Tavern on the Green for dinner just after six. You are more than welcome to join us.”

  She nods, but doesn’t reply. She turns around and walks away. I stand there and watch her leave. With everything that I have, I want to go after her; to wrap my arms around her and protect her from her douchebag of a partner. But I don’t. I just stand where I am and watch her make her way out of the park. “Is she okay?” Dave asks, as he comes up beside me.

  Shaking my head, I reply, “Not at all, but she doesn’t want to be helped. My heart is breaking for her right now.” Lifting my hand, I wipe away the tear forming at the edge of my eye.

  Dave wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me into him. “You have such a kind heart, Sissy.” He leans down and places a gentle, brotherly kiss on my temple. The rest of the family comes over and joins us.

  “You okay, soon-to-be Mrs. Scott?” Brian says as I slip out of Dave’s hug and wrap my arms around his waist, and snuggle into his side. He envelops me in a tight embrace and I melt into him.

  “I’m so lucky to have you. I know that you would never hurt me like that man has hurt that lady. She was shaking with fear. I just wanted to hug her and make it all better.” I look up at him. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.” He leans down and kisses my nose. “She will be okay, you know that, right?”

  Shaking my head, I snap. “No, we don’t know that she will be okay. I fear for her safety. What sucks the most is that there is nothing that I, or anybody, can do to help her until she either asks for it, or he kills her. That’s what sucks the most.” I snuggle back into Brian and continue to think about that woman.

  “Okay, let’s go for a walk to kill time until dinner at six,” Dave says, trying to take my mind off that lady. “And since today is all about you, Ems, how about we go to the zoo, and you can see your precious snow monkeys?” He starts to hop around, scratching under his arms, mimicking one. Unfortunately for him, he looks like he’s having a seizure. When he starts to imitate a monkey sound, I lose it. I laugh and laugh, until I’m hunched over in a fit of giggles.

  “Please, Dave, stop. I’ll pee myself if I laugh any harder.” Everyone now starts to make monkey sounds while I stand there. I’m hunched over, trying not to pee. I continue to laugh as I watch the six most important people in my life act like monkeys and make fools of themselves. “Oh, please, stop,” I say, as I turn and head toward the zoo, leaving my tribe behind.

  They are all still standing there monkeying about when I yell out, “Come on, my lil’ monkeys, I’ll buy you all some bananas.” Turning back around, I continue heading along the path toward the zoo. I have a huge grin on my face, thoughts of that lady and her husband fading away.

  We spend an hour walking around the zoo, imitating each animal when we arrive at its enclosure. When we get to my monkeys, everyone, including me, breaks out into monkey impersonations. We ask someone to take a group photo of us, pretending to be monkeys, in front of their enclosure. It’s such a fun moment and one that I’ll treasure
forever.

  After leaving the zoo, we take a stroll around the park together. With all my heart, I love my family and extended family. Just by being with them I feel like it will all be okay, and that losing my job isn’t the end of the world. Our families are able to turn my frown upside down and cheer me up…even though that happiness would be short-lived.

  The afternoon sun drops behind the buildings and the air chills further. We still have just over an hour before our dinner reservation, so we all decide to get a hot chocolate to warm up. We cut across the park toward Fifth Avenue to get our drinks from the best hot chocolate shop in the world. It’s kind of out of the way, but we have time to waste and this place makes the best hot chocolate ever, so it’s totally worth the walk.

  With our drinks in hand, we continue to stroll around the park and begin talking about the wedding. We are all so wrapped up in our wedding conversation that we don’t even see what is happening right in front of us.

  BANG! BANG! BANG!

  In a moment of rage, the man from before begins shooting.

  BANG! BANG! BANG!

  BANG! BANG! BANG!

  BANG! BANG! BANG!

  With that one decision, he ruins my happiness. My life. My future.

  * * *

  One minute, I’m walking along with my family happily and discussing our upcoming wedding, and the next I’m tumbling to the ground, in a hail of gunfire. Amongst the commotion, Brian leaps into action and protects me. It’s like I’m in a scene from an action movie. Bullets flying around. People screaming and running for their lives. It’s pure pandemonium.

  Everything seems to slow down, but speed up at the same time. The noises around me muffle, then just like the first bang, its ear-splittingly loud and I notice everything. People screaming. Officers yelling commands back-and-forth to one another. Paramedics shouting medical jargon. Then I notice the smell; gunpowder mixed with the scent of blood permeates the air.

  Suddenly, I notice Brian is lying on me. His weight becomes uncomfortable. That’s when I notice that my body aches from the fall, my head throbs, and the pressure of his body on top of mine is heavier than I have felt before. An unexpected burst of adrenalin courses through me and I manage to push him off. When I do, my life shatters.

  Brian is dead.

  His lifeless eyes vacantly stare toward me. He’s been shot. Out of nowhere it registers that I’m lying next to my fiancé, my dead fiancé. My ever-thoughtful fiancé threw himself over me, to protect me. He took three bullets to the back and saved my life. “Nooooooooooo!” I screech. I look around the scene before me and that’s when I see everyone else. They too are staring blankly into the sky. Not one of them is moving. There’s blood, so much blood.

  Slowly, I sit up and wince in pain. I glance around at the carnage surrounding me. My eyes well with tears. Grief overtakes my body and I begin to shake with fear. Opening my mouth, a gut-wrenching scream breaks free as I sit there amongst the chaos.

  As the shock sets in, I realise that I’m all alone. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to be here all by myself. I want nothing more than to be dead with Brian and the rest of them, but instead, I’m stuck living. As more and more grief slams into me, I start to wail, shout, and cry, animalistic sounds that I have never before heard escape me. I continue to scream and cry as a paramedic comes over.

  She is talking to me, but I’m in a fog, once again everything is muffled. Her lips are moving, but I don’t register anything she is saying. I continue to shake and scream when I feel a prick in my arm. Everything becomes fuzzy and I drift off into a blackness that engulfs me.

  * * *

  The beeping of a heart rate monitor wakes me up. “You’re awake.” A soft voice from beside me says. “How are you feeling, Emerson?”

  “I hurt all over. My throat is really dry.”

  Before I finish my sentence, a cup with a straw is handed to me. I try and shuffle into a sitting position, but wince in pain, everything hurts when I move. “Hang on, dear. You’ve been through a lot,” the nurse says, as she reaches behind my hospital bed, grabs the remote, and pushes a button. Slowly the bed raises up and I’m in that sitting/lying position that you do when you are in hospital.

  The nurse takes my vitals and as she’s jotting down the results in my chart when the door opens and a doctor walks in. “Emerson, I’m Dr. Rogers. How are you feeling?”

  How do I feel? I say to myself. “I…umm, I’m not sure. I hurt from head to toe.”

  “With what you have just been through, I’m not surprised. Your surgery is scheduled for—”

  “Surgery? What surgery?”

  “I’m sorry, I thought you knew.”

  “Knew what?” My mind is racing. Why do I need surgery? I’m scared of what he is going to tell me.

  “You suffered a miscarriage during the shooting. You are scheduled to have a D&C.”

  “I was pregnant?” I mumble, “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I’m sure. I’m sorry for your loss. Did you want to wait for the father to get here?”

  At the mention of Brian—everything comes crashing back to me.

  The yelling.

  The gunfire.

  The commotion.

  “No. No. No.” I cry, tears cascade down my cheeks as the grief and loss hit me with full force. I begin thrashing my arms, screaming and crying. For the second time today I feel a prick in my arm before everything begins to fade away and I hear the doctor say, “Let’s get her into surgery now.” My last thought before the blackness engulfs me is that I had been pregnant, what the hell?

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Emerson

  I’M LYING IN MY HOSPITAL bed, in complete and utter shock, my hand resting on my stomach, gently rubbing in circles. I’ve just returned from surgery after having my D&C. I’m still amazed that I was pregnant. I’m even more shocked that I didn’t know. Now, not only have I lost everyone, but also I’ve lost the last piece of Brian that I didn’t even know I had. My thoughts are interrupted when my best friend, Bella, comes barreling into my room.

  As soon as my eyes land on her, the waterworks begin, and I let out all the grief that I have been holding in. The sound that comes from my throat is gut wrenching. “Oh, Ems,” Bella says as she wraps me in her arms, my body shaking uncontrollably as I let everything out. Bella keeps hold of me and begins to rub my back in circles whispering, “Shhhhh,” over and over, but I can’t stop. The floodgates have opened and a tsunami of tears is flowing.

  Lifting my head, I sombrely whisper, “They’re all gone, Bels.” SNIFF “I’m all alone.” SNIFF “Mom, Dad, and Dave.” SNIFF “Jim and Sue.” SNIFF “Bbbbbrian and Peanut.” SNIFF “My baby.” At the thought of the child that Brian and I had conceived, the child that I had just lost, I completely break down. Pushing Bella away from me, I scream and thrash my arms into the bed. “No, no, no!” I bellow. I continue to scream and shout, getting louder and louder as grief and sadness engulfs me. A nurse runs into my room and tries to get me to calm down, but I’m lost in my mind. The events from today whirring around and around on repeat. I keep seeing everyone, happy one minute, gone the next. I’m stuck in this vortex of despair. Vaguely, I can hear her and Bella’s voices, but nothing is registering.

  I feel a prick in my arm and I’m pushed back onto the bed. Everything around me becomes fuzzy and begins to dull.

  My body becomes heavy.

  I start to relax as the universe around me fades away.

  Then there is nothing but blackness.

  * * *

  Opening my eyes, I see that the sky outside is beginning to lighten as the sun peeks its head over the horizon. My body is stiff and sore. I carefully sit up and extend my arms over my head, stretching out all my muscles from head to toe. A gratified moan slips from my lips as I lie back down. Looking toward the window, I notice there’s a blonde ball of fluff curled in the chair next to my bed. I smile when I realize that Bels is still here.

  Rolling onto my side, I stare over at
her sleeping. That can’t be comfortable, I think to myself when I hear her sleepy voice. “Are you watching me sleep? ‘Cause if you are that’s really, really creepy.” She opens her eyes and sadly smiles at me. “How you doing, sweetie?”

  “Better now, I think.” Shaking my head, a hiss escapes. “Actually, I have no flippin’ idea how I feel right now.” Pausing, I swallow before adding, “Bels, I…I’m sorry about earlier, I–”

  “Don’t you dare apologize for that, Emerson Grace. Don’t you dare apologize at all.” She sits up, her eyes boring into me.

  “Oh, both names. You mean business,” I say with a hint of sarcasm.

  “Hardy har har. But seriously, you can break down like that anytime you need. Ems, you have just suffered a horrible, horrible loss. I can’t even imagine what you are going through right now. But know this, I will be here with you every step of the way. You hear me?”

  Nodding my head, I hold back the tears that are threatening to fall. “Yep, okay. Thanks, Bels.” Before we can talk anymore, the nurse walks in and asks her to leave. “I’ll get us coffee and be right back.”

  Reaching out, I squeeze her hand. “Thanks, Bels.”

  Once the door has closed, the nurse asks me how I’m feeling, what my pain levels are, and then she explains what will happen now that I’ve had the procedure. I’m listening to her talk, but nothing that she is saying is registering. I really wish Bella was still here. Thankfully, there is a knock on the door, but when it opens I see two detectives standing there. I wish for the conversation with the nurse to continue, I’m not ready to talk to them. I’m not ready to face the truth of what happened yesterday.

  Before they even say anything, Bella comes back into the room. She goes into attorney mode. “I’m Ms. James’s legal counsel, Bella Jamison.”

  The officers look shocked at Bella’s outburst. I’ve never seen her in ‘attorney mode’ before, so this is quite shocking. She is normally so quiet and timid, but here, she’s a total ballbuster.